I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize