Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
