16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
