just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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