dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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