if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
