Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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