I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I love you. Go after that dick
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
