i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize