I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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