Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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