I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
