I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize