So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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