I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
