woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
