i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
