Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
