your thong is hanging out like whoa
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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