Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
