He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
