How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
is that a dick in a sweater?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
