Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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