Acid is not a monday night drug
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
