therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
