Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I supernannyed him into submission
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
