we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
