I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
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