he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
