It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
