Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
