I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
