john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
