I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I am mentally ready for anal.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
