He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
