i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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