while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Vodka?
Forever.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
