It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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