Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
