forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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