Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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