I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
