Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
