ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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