Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
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The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
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by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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