I just made out with a guy for $7.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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