rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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