Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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