Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
