he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I cut my penus on the lid.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
