your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Still dying that you shit outside
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
