Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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