and my herpes radar will keep us safe
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This baby is an asshole
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
