was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And then the night went full on bisexual.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
