not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize