The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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