What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
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I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
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It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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