I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
