and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize