your thong is hanging out like whoa
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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