afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
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I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
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I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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