the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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