If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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