Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I smell like Dick and happiness
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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